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Welcome to the wondrous, chaotic world of Stacey!

July 12, 2016

Hi all! Welcome to the wondrous, chaotic world of Stacey! I am the newest member of the My Mental Health team and what a privilege it is!

 

I was introduced to the team by a dear friend of mine who gently encouraged me to share my story. Since doing so, my life has changed dramatically; for the better. Sharing my story has been liberating, freeing me from self oppression and most importantly it has allowed me to come to the realisation that I am not damaged, I am not broken and I am not to blame.

 

Due to a disturbing, turbulent childhood I was diagnosed with a cocktail of disorders in my later years: PTSD, Anxiety, Insomnia and Depression or as I like to call it ‘I got PAID!’ What a wonderful combination, huh?! It has and still continues to take its toll, but it has become more manageable.

 

I decided to take the medication route as I personally felt that it would be too difficult to attempt to manage all four disorders without the ‘security blanket’ of medication, especially when confronting my demons in therapy. Without this ‘security blanket’ I have no doubt that I would have completely come undone exploring such traumatic experiences. Even to this day I have so much more to explore, so many more doors to venture through in my mind and others that will remain locked and bolted, never to be touched.

 

The brain is a magnificent piece of machinery not to be underestimated. I have come to believe that some specific memories and experiences are suppressed for a reason. I learned this the hard way. During my therapy I came to realise that I had tremendous difficulty in establishing timelines. How old I was when particular things happened, how long they happened for etc. So I decided to reach out to my abuser for some answers. I was warned at length by my then psychiatrist about doing this, but I felt this was something I needed to do. I didn’t want to know why and I didn’t want to hear a sorry. I was hoping that by my abuser sharing something with me it may trigger a memory and help me find some missing pieces to my big old puzzle.

 

I don’t regret reaching out. It was courageous and gave me that affirmation I needed. But I still have flashbacks from doing so. Just that sneak peak through the crack in that doorway still haunts me. PTSD is something I am very keen to explore in future blogs, so if anyone has anything they wish to share on this please reach out.

 

My journey with Anxiety has been the most fascinating out of my four disorders – it is the one that I will almost definitely have an unscheduled rendezvous with on a daily basis in some shape or form! Although it is heavily prevalent in my life, anxiety and I have learned to live with each other, we have an unspoken agreement. We do get into some nasty run ins from time to time but they are certainly fewer and far between. Thank goodness! I plan to share my journey and past experiences with you all in greater depth in future blogs. I hope this will help others realise they are not the only ones struggling on their journeys. I guess we all are in some capacity.

 

Joining the team as Web Editor you will be hearing more from me and we hope to hear equally from you! Whether you wish to write a blog, share your story, comment on some of the topics raised or ask me or the team any questions then please get in touch at support@my-mentalhealth.org.uk

 

In addition to being part of the My Mental Health team I will hopefully be beginning my counselling course in the latter part of this year, so that too should make for some interesting blog topics.

 

I really do encourage you to share your stories or ask our team any questions you may have. Mental health is still a hazy subject and many of us are all too familiar with the stigma that comes with it – that’s why platforms such as this are so wonderful. I feel that the cruelest part about having a mental disorder(s) is that it can make you feel so isolated from the human race. It can be a very lonely place…our own minds. If in writing a thousand blogs I help just one person then I would be overwhelmed with happiness.

 

Until next time…

 

 

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